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[stupidauthor]

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Shang Qinghua ⬤ Scum Villain's Self-Saving System
residential district ⬤ TBD
moonblessing ⬤ Iris

info ⬤ permissions ⬤ kinklist

Comments

text..... I'm sorry

[killful]

The former ruler of Sanguis moon received this picture and called it "junk mail." 8 days later Sanguis moon became uninhabitable. A man received this picture and immediately sent out copies, then received good fortune for an entire year, including winning a jackpot lottery. Copy, paste, and send this to 9 people or you will be cursed. Don't take any chances. Sanguis did, and now no one can live there.

oh and follow me on Prismagram!

haha, let's make the most of this /cracks knuckles

[stupidauthor]

[ ... There's chain letters here? What the fuck, why are there chain letters here?! Don't you know how obnoxious those are! There's no good fortune, there's no curse! It's just a bunch of text! It can't do anything! Are there really so many people here that don't know how technology works that they'd think--... okay, maybe that's not fair to them. Back where he's originally from, plenty of people fall for them too. But still! Are you really that gullible?! Is everybody really that gullible?! Or desperate! Are you so desperate that you'd inflict annoyance on a bunch of other people just for the minuscule hope that maybe this chain letter has a real blessing/curse attached to it?! How selfish are you?!

Of course, all this cursing out remains in his head, because Shang Qinghua is still pretending he's from historical fantasy China unless he knows he's safe to do otherwise. And his particular historical fantasy China was not designed to include chain letters. (Nor was it designed to include real person fanfiction, but that's not the point!) ]

Excuse me. Do I know you?

[killful]

[Hmm. Does this guy know him? He checks the guy's name. Hmm... Yep.]

Probably! 😄
Follow me on Prismagram!

[He links his Prismagram, @rogueofdarkness108. I hate him. His profile image is a pic of his face and tattooed tits because I still hate him.]

Oh and don't forget the chain mail lol
it's so cute lol

[stupidauthor]

[ Shang Qinghua stares at the messages for several seconds. Follows the link and scrolls through the pictures. Waits a minute or so to pretend he's fumbling with the technology in order to do what he just took ten seconds to do. Comes up with a misunderstanding for good measure. ]

I still don't know you, and I will not pledge any sort of loyalty to someone I do not know.

[ And he is going! to ignore! the chain letter! ]

audio

[originalshen]

[So Shen Qingqiu and Shen Qingqiu have been living together for a while now, right? Sharing a living space, and all that.

And living together means overhearing each other's conversations occasionally, or maybe seeing each other's texts. Hard to keep your guard up when you're at home, after all.

What I mean to say is that whenever Shang Qinghua answers his phone, he'll be hearing a familiar voice calmly saying] Airplane-bro.

thanks he's going to hate it (I love it)

[stupidauthor]

[ For better or for worse, Airplane never actually put the contact info for the original goods in his phone. It means the call doesn't come from Cucumber Bro's number, but there are plenty of reasons why that could be the case. He doesn't think too much of it.

Perhaps he should, but who else would call him Airplane Bro? ]

What is it, Cucumber Bro?

rip shang qinghua...lights a candle

[originalshen]

[Still as calmly as ever:] May I ask how exactly the two of you became close enough to call each other brothers?

[Because seriously, he'd never been on particularly close terms with you before, he doesn't know how the other him ended up befriending you--and what kind of stupid nicknames are Airplane and Cucumber, while we're at it.........]

1/?

[stupidauthor]

What do you mean? The only one I call Bro is--

[stupidauthor]

[ ... wait a second.

Wait one second here. ]

[stupidauthor]

[ Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh no. ]

[stupidauthor]

[ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!!

He's realized what's happening here! How did you learn that?! Who told you?!

It's bad enough that he can't tell Peerless Cucumber from the original goods on sight; now he can't even trust when one of them calls him "Airplane Bro" either!

And he just replied like it was nothing?! Did you already know about "Cucumber Bro" too or did he just spill the beans there?!

What the fuck?! Cucumber Bro, this isn't okay! Take responsibility for the original goods, because Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky doesn't want to be the one to take responsibility in your stead! Yes he wrote the character; no that's not the point! ]

done lmao

[stupidauthor]

Ah, Shen-shixiong, I--

[ What does he say? What can he say?! How does he weasel his way out of this one?! ]

I'm not sure I can properly explain.

[ It's such a cop-out, but it's true! It's 100% true! ]

text

[fanoperator]

shang-xiong, will you please come over? i need cuddles

[stupidauthor]

I'm free right now, so I suppose it's no trouble.

Would you like me to bring another movie with me?

[fanoperator]

yes please

[Though this time it's entirely possible that Huaisang might offer one from his own collection.]

[stupidauthor]

You liked the one from last time, correct? I'll select one that's similar.

text

[fanoperator]

do you know how to apply nail polish

[stupidauthor]

I can't say I've ever tried. Why?

[ He's already sent off the message before he realizes that he probably... should have said no. Why would a male cultivator know anything about nail polish, even if he's been living here for months? Maybe he's seen it? Seen others wearing it? That sounds reasonable enough!

... But please don't question too deeply here. ]

[fanoperator]

I want to try. Will you paint my nails for me?

video

[fanoperator]

[Here's Huaisang with a bright, cheerful grin.]

I'm proud of you for doing the date auction! I hope lots of cute people bid on you!

[stupidauthor]

Ah... thank you. It wasn't my idea.

[ But he went along with it anyway, so...? ]

[resurging]

[consider this a declaration of intent: wei wuxian, self-aware and appropriately versed in the comedies of shameless enticement, is inviting one and all (for some measure of all, as he is only one man with two hands) to take part in a little... experiment.]

as the snow thaws,
as new grass springs from the earth,
as the sun rises, warmer—
i offer my hand to hold,
without question,
without judgment.

-

a favor for a favor: a confidence, a deed, or a kiss. my ask: a child's toy for gusu lan's hanguang-jun, in honor of his fatherhood.

text; un: sesshomaru

[fashionicon]

[ hello, not!jaken. would you like a very sesshomaru message asking how his not!jaken has been doing? 'course you do. ]

What stupidity have you gotten into while I have been away?

un: shangqinghua

[stupidauthor]

[ Wait, this is--oh! Oh, this guy is back! It's not that Shang Qinghua is excited or anything, it's just... one more person around who he can hide behind when things get bad here? Yes, that's definitely all it is! ]

If I say "a lot", is that a sufficient response?

[ Because there was a lot! And some of it he'd really rather not go into details of! ]

Welcome back.

[fashionicon]

It is.

[ because he feels he would get a headache if it was listed out. ]

If you were here, I would hit you for that remark. [ "thank you for the welcome back." ]