stupidauthor | Prismatica Inbox

Because we're from the Four Great Classical Novels of China!

[...]

shit

[He's usually smart about this, but his follower count got the best of him. Um.]

that was supposed to be a secret
actually Lu Bu's not here right now
I just said that so you'd follow me

[ Wait. You know that?

Is that even allowed?! ]

Hold on, go back. You know you're from a story?

How did you find that out?!

[ ... Shit. On second thought, there's a much more reasonable explanation for what he said. ]

So people wrote a lot about things that you did?

[ Nailed it. ]

[Or did he?]

no dude I'm literally from the book
Water Margin?
They summoned me from the book
Yan Qing's not a real person lol
Anyway I'm not supposed to talk about this with strangers coz it could get me killed...

[HIS PRISMAGRAM IS LITERALLY ROGUEOFDARKNESS108.]

You can keep a secret right?

[ Oh. So he was right the first time.

...

What the fuck?! ]

Yes, I can keep a secret.

[ He would absolutely share this with Cucumber Bro if he were around, though. (It's okay, Cucumber Bro can also keep a secret.)

Okay, okay, let's slow down and think about this for a moment. Does he mean that he was summoned to this place and learned he was fictional, or in the world he was brought here from, he was already aware of being fictional? Airplane would think it's the former, but it's not like the latter is unreasonable. If Airplane got summoned into his own book, is it really a stretch to think that a character from a book could get summoned back out? Well, the real world isn't that magical, but... actually, doesn't there have to be some amount of magic to get him out of it? Strike out that line of thinking; he can consider it later. So if a character gets summoned out of their book into a world where they're fictional...

Wait, if a fictional character can be summoned into the real world, then couldn't Mobei-Jun--ah, strike that as well! Back to this conversation! Focusing on the present! ]

So what you're saying is, you're not real? [ What the fuck, how do you say something like that so casually?! ] How did you find out?

[Things would be a whole lot more convenient for Airplane's thirsty ass if he existed in Fate/, huh? But we must digress. Yan Qing is guessing this guy's from the Ming dynasty at the very least, which isn't actually a lead. But if he was from before the modern era, he must be educated... Frankly, Yan Qing doesn't care too much. He just needs him to keep his mouth shut.]

When you say it like that, it kind of hurts...
It's complicated
but I automatically know these things the second I'm summoned
Typing is a pain in the ass
I'll call you

[He doesn't even ask. The moment he sends that, Shang Qinghua's phone starts ringing.]

[ Okay just because it's true doesn't mean you need to call him out like that, rude!!!

When his phone starts ringing, Shang Qinghua gives a startled yelp and nearly drops it. Why are you calling?! Calling is the worst idea! Don't call him; he only wants to have this conversation over text!

...

If he doesn't pick up, he's not going to get his answers, is he? The realization has him giving a heavy sigh, and he picks up just as he remembers that he's supposed to be fumbling with the technology. He waits a couple more seconds for good measure before putting on a tone even more hesitant than he feels. ]

Ah, is this working correctly?

[ "Hello." ]

Yo!

[His reply is immediate.]

Ah, sorry, sorry. You'd think I'd get used to this shit by now, but I just really like to talk. Some things are kinda hard to explain through text. You're cool with that, right?

[His voice has an amiable tone with a laidback drawl, like he'd just gotten out of bed. Even if he's doing damage control, there are absolutely zero fucks given here.]

Oh, right. What do I call ya?

I suppose--ah. Shouldn't you know? How did you contact me if you didn't know my name?!

[ No, he really would prefer text.

Also, how did he get his contact information? Is there some directory Shang Qinghua hasn't found? Lucky guess?

Ah well, that's to be figured out later. There are more important mysteries right now. ]

This is Shang Qinghua, of the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect... although, that might not mean anything to you. Most people don't seem to know of it here, so perhaps I should just stop including it. You are... Yan Qing, you said?

Yeah, I'm Yan Qing. And I know your damn name! I was just wondering if you had a nickname or something.

[But how does he know it? Look, he's an outlaw. He has shady methods. It doesn't matter.]

Oh, but—don't go around telling anybody that's my name, okay? I'm kinda sorta trying to keep a low profile. [Says the guy desperate for Prismagram followers.] Unlike you, I don't exactly go around saying I'm the Skillful Star from Liangshan...

... No. No nickname. "Shang Qinghua" is fine.

[ He gives an internal sigh. Another thing that he needs to pretend he doesn't know because it isn't in his novel. ]

Then, ah. If you don't want me to use your name, how should I refer to you?

[One can practically hear the smirk in his voice.]

Then, Shang Qinghua, when we're in public you can just call me... Li Shuwen. Wahahaha!

[Li Shuwen would probably kill him. Like, he'd be respectful about it. But he'd still kill him.

Which sounds kind of fun, really.]

[ ... Shang Qinghua has to work really hard not to sigh at that. He sees what sort of thing is happening here. ]

Alright, I understand.

[ Oh, he understands something alright... ]

But let's return to the original point. You're... from fiction? And yet you exist now. [ Please elaborate; he is interested in this! ]

Yeah, I'm from Water Margin. I don't wanna get into specifics, but I was summoned by a mage on Earth...

Well, that unbelievable premise aside, the modern world is really interesting! I've just started looking into the Water Margin live action dramas, hahaha. Ah, but the actors who get my role are never as hot as me.

[That's not important. He just wanted to say that.]

Ah, sorry, sorry. Live action dramas are kinda like plays...

So... it sounds like you're rather famous.

I know a pair who have a story written about them, but [ it's real-person slash. He can't say that. ] it's more as if... their escapades made them famous, so people wrote about that, rather than them being from that story in the first place...

[ Except that they're also from a story. That he wrote. And the characters of that story also wrote stories inside the story, which is what he's talking about right now.

It's sort of complicated. ]

I suppose it's not the same at all, is it?

Are there others like you?

Mmm... Well, I know Heroic Spirits like that. People who had stories written about 'em, I mean! As for your other question...

Yeah, there are. They're called Heroic Spirits, like I said. It ain't exactly my place to say who's one and who's not, though. I don't think some of 'em will mind, but as for the likes of me, having my name plastered everywhere kinda makes it hard for me to do my job, you know?

[SAYS THE GUY WITH THE PRISMAGRAM ACCOUNT.]

[ Heroic Spirits... it doesn't ring a bell. Though he's not surprised that it seems to have little to do with his own situation, considering they're rather backwards from each other.

Shang Qinghua has been avoiding pointing out the presence of the Prismagram account potentially blowing Yan Qing's cover, lest he give away that he knows what sort of thing said account entails. ]

Then, what happens when you're done? Will you go back? Will you remember that you're from a story?

Huh?

[Genuine confusion.]

The story's done. How would I even do that? Guess if I had the Grail, I could... Well, when I'm done with whatever I gotta do, I just go back to the Throne. That's where all the heroes go — even the ones that ain't real. [He shrugs.] What's real, anyway? That ain't for anybody to say.

Oh.

When you put it that way, I suppose it was a silly question. [ So what's going on with his story? Isn't it over, too? Does he just get to stay around until he decides to leave, or is he going to get kicked out at some point, or is the story secretly not over?

Has this conversation even been any help?! ]

What's the Throne?

[Tut tut, Airplane. All things will be explained in due time. Or maybe they'll never be explained! They are from different universes, after all. Still, Yan Qing humors him.]

You know how when somebody does something great and people remember them forever? Whether they're real or not, those somebodies go to the Throne of Heroes. Sometimes, those heroes are summoned by the...

Hahaha. Why are you so interested in this, ge? Lookin' to be a superhero in your own personal story? I saw your pictures before calling you up, and I can't say you'd look good in a cape.

Huh--?!

[ Busted!!

Shang Qinghua flails for a few seconds, caught off-guard by the sudden shift in focus. ]

No--I--ah--ah--Ahem!

[ Compose yourself, Airplane! ]

I was just curious. I never expected to meet someone from a work of fiction... [ And then he met a very large number of them! And now he's talking to someone who even knows it! If nothing else, this conversation has failed to convince him that he ever wants to explain to his characters that they're fictional. Especially since he put them through way too much for most of them to want to do anything but kill him if they found out. He likes to live, please and thank you! ] ... and then your answers kept giving me more questions, so I kept asking...

Ah, I can stop. I apologize for asking so much.

[ You're the sort of person who has his name, phone number, and picture apparently? He doesn't know where you got those, and he's sort of worried! Please don't be offended by his curiosity! ]

It's fine, it's fine. I like talking!

[ It's as if Yan Qing wants him to stop apologizing more than anything else. It seems Shang Qinghua's curiosity runs deep. Yan Qing's a little curious about that in turn, but he's not too keen on giving information to the wrong people. What if this guy summons Gao Qiu? Shang Qinghua can say sorry to his airplane faster than Lu Bu switching sides! ]

So long as everything I wanna say about it stays here, I don't give a shit. Well, ain't like most folks here know Water Margin's a book. Maybe it's better that way. The last thing I want is someone telling me my life's a joke...

I mean, I know it's just a story. Doesn't change that I lived through hell.

Yes, I suppose... if no one knows the story you're from, does it really change anything? You might still be from a work of fiction, but if you act like anyone else, and no one knows your history, it's not like you'd be different from anyone else here...

[ Although, Airplane has read it, but he is absolutely not saying that! Feigning ignorance is much better than suffering any potential consequences! He's done it for a long time before, he'll continue to do it now! ]

Real or fictional, suffering is universal, isn't it?

[ But being fictional tends to result in a lot more suffering! A lot! ]

... Yeah. That's the idea.

[He is all too aware that suffering is something all his comrades are intimately familiar with.]

I like you, Shang Qinghua! We should hang out sometime! You drink, right?

Thank you, I think? [ Well, better to be in this guy's good graces than on his bad side, right? ] Yes, I do.

[ ... Ah. Is he about to be bullied into drinking with this guy...?

Fuck, is it too late to take his answer back?! ]

Hahaha, good! Good! I like the sound of that. Saturday, then!

[He's getting bullied.]

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