stupidauthor | Prismatica Inbox

I... don't know?

[ He can't quite meet Nie Huaisang's gaze. ]

I don't think I can answer you when you're the only person I've ever really kissed. [ Gu Yun doesn't count. ] This is all... very different from anything I've ever done before. And I've always thought of myself as straight, so I've never had to consider... any of this. I can tell you I feel something but I don't know what that something means. I've never even had a proper crush, so whether or not this is even that, I couldn't say...

[ ... Actually... admitting all of this, doesn't his life sound kind of pathetic? It's even more pathetic when you consider he's actually talking about two lives! ]

There's no hurry. [Huaisang thinks it's sweet, really. The honesty helps to reassure him. Even though Shang Qinghua might not know what he wants, he's trying, and he's considering things, and he's willing to question his sexuality for Huaisang, which is flattering.]

You don't have to have certainties about any of that. My best friend has been in love with this guy he likes for years and he's only just starting to get a clue that he might not be ... straight? [Huaisang's pretty sure he understands the local gender identity jargon which Qinghua has clearly picked up in his time here.] Straight.

[It's normal, is what he's saying.] As much as you can, tell me what you like and tell me what you want to do more of, or what you want to try, or even if you want more but you don't know what that means.

So, just for right now: kissing, cuddling, or do you want me to ease off a little and maybe even court you?

[ It's only when Nie Huaisang says "straight" in that questioning tone of voice that Shang Qinghua realizes that he let the word slip when he hadn't been meaning to. ... Don't worry about it! Don't think too hard! He's lived in this place for months; that's definitely why he knows it now! ]

Years... I see.

[ No, he didn't just think about a certain ice demon. Definitely not. ]

I like kissing. [ He's accepted at least that much. ] And cuddling is nice, too. But, anything else... [ He pauses for a moment, then sighs. ] I've spent so long thinking about women that thinking about men for similar things is still strange. [ Though he doesn't understand why that might be the case. ] I would suspect that I will want more eventually. Perhaps it's simply a question of getting used to the idea first. For now though, while I'm still getting used to it...

[ He gets a bit more red, then, ] Would you go on a date with me? That seems like a good place to start.

[ Given that they've already made out, they're probably a little beyond "starting", but that's not the point! ]

[A date does seem like a good place to start and Huaisang nods, pleased by the idea. In a way, they have had a coffee date, a movie date, and a hang-out, but intentionally going on a romantic excursion is different.] I'd like that. Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go?

[Huaisang can certainly come up with some ideas, but Qinghua has been here for longer and Huaisang's had more opportunities, so he feels like Qinghua should choose.

Even if they have decided on a date, however, Huaisang can't resist starting to toy with Qinghua's lapels, drawing one fingernail lightly along the skin just inside of his collar.]

[ He considers for a moment, thinking back on the hundreds of dates he wrote his protagonist going on. Quickly crossing out the ones that involved searching for rare plants, or fighting dangerous creatures, or where he simply seduced them from the outset. Remove a few more that aren't practical here, or require the protagonist's godly skills...

Aha. ]

Have you been through Greatmoon Groves yet? There is some very beautiful scenery there. It it's cold enough that it probably won't be very green yet, but there are still several places we can take a stroll through, if you are interested.

[ He gets through the entire thing before finally noticing the fingernail on his skin, and he suddenly shivers a little. It feels... strange... but kind of nice. ]

[Huaisang nods, lighting up at the suggestion.] I visited there when I first arrived. [He'd been so restless at first, wandering constantly because he couldn't stand the loneliness of his own apartment. Now that he has plenty of acquaintances and romantic interests, he almost always has someone to call on for company or sex when he needs it.]

The birds there are beautiful. [Huaisang had been deeply tempted to catch some of them, but he'd fortunately managed to understand that the creatures in the park were there for public enjoyment, sort of communal pets. He wanted very much to explore a bit outside of the city and to catch some wild birds, but as of yet he remained wary of the wilds. He'd learned enough of the dangers of the city itself that he wasn't sure he wanted to find out about the monsters and hazards that lurked outside.]

When would you like to go? I'm free tomorrow afternoon, if that suits you. I'm not dressed to go out now. [He still retains some modesty, at least when Cordis isn't ascendant.]

Tomorrow, hmm. I should be--ah, it's Cordis starting tomorrow, isn't it? Will that be alright?

[ He isn't entirely sure how adverse Nie Huaisang is to going out when affected by his moonblessing. ]

[Huaisang nods happily. He's always eager to go out during Cordis, and especially shameless in his need for contact and affection. He doesn't see any problem whatsoever for that when it comes to his date with Qinghua.] Tomorrow. Let's say 2pm. I'll meet you there.

Is the north entrance the most convenient for you?

[Huaisang nods, leaning up to give him a sweet kiss.] I'll find it.

What do 'dates' involve? I know it's a sort of casual courtship, but I'm not really sure of the differences.

[He blinks innocently, expecting the expert to explain. Qinghua really knows so much about the local culture! In some ways he's practically a native.]

[ Shang Qinghua spends a moment of sighing internally before he responds. ]

Well, I'm still a little unclear on some specifics myself [ that is a lie ] but from what I understand, it's an activity that is used to cultivate romantic feelings in a platonic setting.

[ He is well aware that people can have sex on dates, but let's pretend he doesn't know that! ]

So, I believe it's a single instance rather than an extended period. And, ah, without necessarily being intended towards marriage, perhaps? I'll admit that I might be incorrect about that part, but that is my impression.

[Until now, Huaisang has never once questioned the moments where Qinghua is remarkably comfortable among the modern trappings of this world. He himself has adjusted and accepted all this quite quickly, so it's easy to accept that Qinghua, who has been here longer, has normalized to this society. But the answer he gives strikes Huaisang as distinctly false. It's too defined, presented like he's a scholar studying the natives, and yet he seems to have lost knowledge from what he had a moment ago. Huaisang had suggested courtship and Qinghua had responded by saying a date, and Huaisang had accepted that as a completely natural reaction. But now that Qinghua is speaking of dating like it's an unfamiliar foreign practice, Huaisang is struck by the contradiction.

He'll analyze that later. For now, he covers by immediately doubling down on his own incompetence.]

I think I understand! [He nods, wide-eyed and enthusiastic, looking at Qinghua as his expert on the mysterious local customs.] I'm excited to learn more about the local courtship customs. I'm already engaged in a formal courtship with someone else, so I'm looking forward to 'dating' with you.

[Pouting a little bit, Huaisang looks shy.] Is it all right that I'm involved with other people? I don't know about dating, but I know that courtship is usually more exclusive.

Hm? Yes, that's fine. Having multiple partners is quite normal here, I've found. I assumed that's one of the points of the "date".

Though, ah, if you're in a formal courtship, have you already spoken to them about others? Please, do not allow me to intrude upon something I'm not welcome in.

I have. We agreed on it from the start. Though I am very serious about the courtship, we both prefer to be free to explore other entanglements. He is not jealous by nature, and neither am I.

I see. As long as you're both clear on that.

I'm not looking for formal courtship at this moment, so... I think that's fine with me.

[ He gives a soft, awkward chuckle. ]

But, ah, this is all new to me. So if I end up contradicting myself later, I apologize...

[Huaisang blushes and ducks his head, charmed by the suggestion that Qinghua might one day want a formal courtship with him. He's also not sure where he wants this relationship to go, but for the time being he enjoys Qinghua's company as a friend, and he's excited to extend that into dating.] If you do, I will be very flattered.

[In the meantime, he checks his toes to make sure they're dry, then shifts over to settle fully in Qinghua's lap, carefully side-saddle so that his toes are safe from being bumped. Then he takes a soft, gentle kiss, testing to see if Qinghua wants more.]

[ He reciprocates the kiss, tentatively at first but soon settling into something he finds comfortable. It's not a heated kiss, but Shang Qinghua wraps his arms around Nie Huaisang so that he can hold him, enjoying the closeness and the physical sensations that come with this.

In many ways, he has no idea what he's doing. So he greatly appreciates that Nie Huaisang is forward, yet patient. It makes it easier to fumble along at his own pace, and little by little, things like kisses don't seem like the terrifying unknown challenges that they were before. ]

[Huaisang enjoys the sweet, lingering kiss, happy to be held and kissed by his friend. Dating-friend? He's pretty sure there's a local term for that, but it's escaping him at the moment.

After a few minutes of kissing, he settles beside Qinghua again, turning on the television.] Porn?

[He's... mostly teasing. Probably.]

[ That has him going bright red in an instant. ]

E-excuse me?!

[ Did he--wait, does he even need to ask that, of course he heard that right.

He's quiet for a long moment, then, quietly and hesitantly, ]

... What sort of porn?

[ He is doing his best to meet Nie Huaisang halfway here. ]

[Honestly, Huaisang was happy enough just to tease. He was delighted by Qinghua's embarrassed fluster and the flushed color of his cheeks. But then Qinghua gave the suggestion real consideration and Huaisang was touched.]

Whatever you'd like. [He kissed Qinghua's cheek softly, smiling warmly at him.] There's some stuff that's called 'bisexual', it usually has two guys and a girl, and the guys do things to each other in addition to things with the girl. Or if you'd like something that focuses on what men can do together, I know of a couple videos that are really sweet.

I...

[ What is he comfortable with? Does he have any idea? He's only ever watched straight porn! Maybe the one that sounds like a compromise? Let's go with the compromise! ]

I think, perhaps... ah, "bisexual" might be a good place to start?

Good idea. [Huaisang smiles and nods, beaming approval for his choice. He selects a video from the library that he's already watched, so he knows that it's relatively safe. It's a silly but hot video featuring some kind of farm workers called 'cowboys', and the story between the girl and the two guys is sweet. Hitting play on the video, Huaisang nestles close with his head on Qinghua's shoulder as they watch.]

[ ... Well, guess they're really doing this. Shang Qinghua settles in to watch, pretending he doesn't know nearly as much about what a "cowboy" is as he does. (Admittedly he hasn't watched that many American movies, but he's seen more than one at least...)

It takes a little while before things start to get heated, and Shang Qinghua wills himself to watch, not looking away in embarrassment the way he's inclined to. Not that he hasn't watched porn before (he has! plenty of times!) but this is the first time watching porn with someone. It's also his first time watching porn with two men doing things with each other, rather than just teaming up on the woman.

It's not remotely the turn-off he thought it would be back in his first life.

His breath slowly picks up a bit, and it's not long before he shifts in his seat, not sure if he should hide his growing erection or not but finding shame forces him to try to arrange his legs to make it less obvious regardless. ]

[Huaisang watches enough porn that it's more soothing than anything most of the time. He finds this fun and a little thrilling, but it really isn't enough to get his heart racing that much. There's a scene near the end that he found pretty exciting, but for the most part in his mind this is just a fun drama with a lot of nudity and touching.

Given the fact that he's seen the movie before and that it's not exactly a riveting plot, Huaisang's attention is very focused on Qinghua and his comfort. His eyes flick up often, checking Qinghua's expression while moving as little as possible so that he won't be a distraction. It's a pleasant surprise that Qinghua seems to really be enjoying the film, and then that he's starting to breathe a little quicker.]

Just relax. [Huaisang's voice is low and soothing, fingertips caressing ever so lightly over the cloth covering Qinghua's lap. He traces idle circles with his fingertips, around and around, the lightest possible stimulation.] Let me take care of you.

[ His breath audibly hitches, face reddening. Shang Qinghua doesn't know where to look right now, but he's pretty sure he'd lose his nerve if he looks either down at his lap or at Nie Huaisang, so he keeps his gaze fixed on the television screen.

Contrary to the words, he finds he's gone tense. He swallows thickly, and though forcing himself to try to relax isn't working particularly well, he nods regardless. Yes, he's wound up... but he's alright, so far. It's unfamiliar, but not bad. And he trusts Nie Huaisang with at least this much. ]

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