stupidauthor | Prismatica Inbox

[So Shen Qingqiu and Shen Qingqiu have been living together for a while now, right? Sharing a living space, and all that.

And living together means overhearing each other's conversations occasionally, or maybe seeing each other's texts. Hard to keep your guard up when you're at home, after all.

What I mean to say is that whenever Shang Qinghua answers his phone, he'll be hearing a familiar voice calmly saying] Airplane-bro.

[ For better or for worse, Airplane never actually put the contact info for the original goods in his phone. It means the call doesn't come from Cucumber Bro's number, but there are plenty of reasons why that could be the case. He doesn't think too much of it.

Perhaps he should, but who else would call him Airplane Bro? ]

What is it, Cucumber Bro?

[Still as calmly as ever:] May I ask how exactly the two of you became close enough to call each other brothers?

[Because seriously, he'd never been on particularly close terms with you before, he doesn't know how the other him ended up befriending you--and what kind of stupid nicknames are Airplane and Cucumber, while we're at it.........]

Edited (sshh) 2020-02-04 17:19 (UTC)

What do you mean? The only one I call Bro is--

[ ... wait a second.

Wait one second here. ]

[ Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh no. ]

[ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!!

He's realized what's happening here! How did you learn that?! Who told you?!

It's bad enough that he can't tell Peerless Cucumber from the original goods on sight; now he can't even trust when one of them calls him "Airplane Bro" either!

And he just replied like it was nothing?! Did you already know about "Cucumber Bro" too or did he just spill the beans there?!

What the fuck?! Cucumber Bro, this isn't okay! Take responsibility for the original goods, because Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky doesn't want to be the one to take responsibility in your stead! Yes he wrote the character; no that's not the point! ]

Ah, Shen-shixiong, I--

[ What does he say? What can he say?! How does he weasel his way out of this one?! ]

I'm not sure I can properly explain.

[ It's such a cop-out, but it's true! It's 100% true! ]

[Did he know the cucumber part of all this? He's sure not giving any indication either way. In fact he's barely giving anything at all, besides the single word:]

Try.

[You're not getting off the hook that easily, "bro".]

[ ... You know, if he weren't very certain of the original Shen Qingqiu's ability and lack of compunctions about potentially straight-up murdering him, he'd hang up right now. ]

You see...

[ Uh. Um. Er. Fuck. ]

We have... shared experiences, regarding various things. So, thanks to attempts to improve both our situations, we ended up forming a bit of a camaraderie...

[ It's all technically true enough! ]

[Would he murder you over something like this though? He's a petty, jealous man, sure, but is he petty enough to be jealous of friendship with a guy he looks down on using nicknames he thinks are really stupid?

...Well alright, maybe. Maybe.

Anyway. Shen Qingqiu listens to that incredibly vague explanation, mixed amusement and annoyance keeping him from having any sort of reaction one way or the other as he tries to read between the very sparse lines for any sort of extra clues.]

We've shared experiences as well, you realize. Regarding various things. [Like going on missions together at some point, or something.] And most normal "comrades" don't suddenly decide to call each other after vegetables and......airplanes. [????? Are they supposed to be some sort of code names? Though if they started using code names back in their own world that doesn't explain the "airplane" part.]

[ Don't question "airplane"! Please, please don't question "airplane"! ]

Well, it...

[ ... oh, wait! Wait, he has an idea! ]

It has to do with certain things regarding... demons. And you-- [ --shit he's not supposed to know that is he?! If he only knows the Shen Qingqiu that is Cucumber Bro... No, it's fine, it's fine, he's got this. ] --never got involved in the same way, I think, or that's what the other Shen-shixiong implied. [ Please have discussed that! Please let that have come up! Cucumber Bro, please play along if this gets back to you; he's trying really, really hard not to fourth wall the original goods!

... Also please don't question the nicknames any further than this.

This conversation is not going well for him, is it... ]

Edited 2020-02-07 02:27 (UTC)

[Considering Shang Qinghua's insistence on keeping things as vague as possible....it's not helping him question this any less, really.]

Demons. [Ah, irritation is winning over interest now. There's clear dissatisfaction in his voice--is that the right word? Anyway he's unhappy.] And what exactly did the two of you do, involving demons? Join them?

[Because that's sure what the Shang Qinghua he knows did!!]

[ Well so about that. And about your friend, Other Shen Qingqiu. He doesn't know it yet, but he sleeps with Luo Binghe. Probably a lot, given the sort of story Airplane wrote for Luo Binghe originally. So, in a rather literal sense, yes! Other Shen Qingqiu "joins" a demon.

... Yeah, he's not telling either of you about that. Definitely, definitely not. He'll just have to quietly sit on this secret and see what happens in this place... ]

Ah... [ A little bit of truth, a little bit of sidestepping! That's the recipe for getting out of this alive! ] The circumstances were a bit different for each of us. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that both of us wound up needing to deal with them in ways far different than anyone else had to consider...

[ Not wrong! He can word it like he's pretending he didn't turn traitor, knowing full well this Shen Qingqiu is aware of it happening, and still sort of describe what Cucumber Bro went through without being specific enough to cause problems! ... He hopes. ]

[If he knew what you were thinking he'd probably start spitting blood..]

I see. So if I am to understand this correctly, you...and my other self...were forced to "deal with" demons in some way you are unable to express in words, in the indescribable process of which you not only gained enough camaraderie to call each other brothers, but also - for another reason you apparently cannot explain - began calling each other by ridiculous nicknames.

[There's needy meowing going on in the background now, but that's not important.]

I hope you don't expect me to actually accept such a shoddy explanation, because that would be an insult in and of itself. Should I have asked your "Cucumber Bro" instead? He'd be able to think of a much more palatable excuse, at the very least.

[Pets cat grumpily.]

[ Meanwhile there's a slight whimper over here, because Airplane can just feel the original goods getting more and more annoyed and this is not a good position to be in! ]

... Perhaps he can come up with a better way to describe it, yes.

[ Sorry, Cucumber Bro, under the bus you go! You adopted this character, that makes him your responsibility! ]

The nicknames just sort of... happened. It wasn't something done intentionally.

[ It became so much easier to separate when they were talking to each other as characters in "Proud Immortal Demon Way" versus when they were talking to each other as people who knew the novel. ]

How did you find out, anyway?

[ Please be distracted to this, or literally any train of thought that isn't about the escapades of Airplane Bro and Cucumber Bro. ]

[Is this like the father giving away the bride--no I'm kidding.

Shen Qingqiu refuses to accept defeat on this (or any other) subject, but he does at least acknowledge that getting anything more detailed than this out of Shang Qinghua is going to be rather difficult when they're talking over a distance like this. It isn't as if he can threaten him all that effectively over the phone, right?

...Not that he was planning to! You're perfectly safe, shidi. Definitely. For sure.]

As much faith as I may have in my own intelligence, I must say it is rather difficult to hide your every conversation from your own housemate. [Especially when the housemate is yourself? As far as he knows, anyway.] Or did you think this Shen was somehow both blind and deaf?

[ ... Cucumber Bro, you're dead. You're so dead.

(They're both so dead.) ]

... In that case, please assign the responsibility of explaining the circumstances to the other Shen-shixiong. I'm not the one at fault for this.

I would prefer that you not push all the responsibility and blame onto your shixiong. Or is betrayal such a difficult habit to break?

[Does this count as betrayal? Whether it is or not, you're currently pushing everything onto Shen Qingqiu, and he happens to be Shen Qingqiu, so in a roundabout way you could say he's offended on his other self's behalf.

He's still gonna interrogate his twin later but making Shang Qinghua squirm is a sort of stress relief, even if (especially if?) he's the cause of the stress. Or maybe he's just getting blamed for it because it's easier than blaming his doppelganger? Whatever. Jiu is out of one or many loops and sometimes you just wanna kick someone in the ribs before you get around to properly investigating, okay?

Also there's meowing again, except this new cat's getting shoved away with a quietly muttered "Get off". He's biased even with his cats.]

[ Shen Qingqiu, give your cat some attention. Especially since that will mean less attention to devote to Airplane! ]

It, ah. Perhaps, um, yes... [ It's definitely true that once you get used to selling people out, selling out even more people gets easier. And hey, if he can push unpleasant things away from himself and onto others, all the better! It's a matter of survival sometimes! ]

But it really is his fault, isn't it? You overheard him, not me... I'm the innocent one this time.

We could say it's his fault I heard it, yes. Or we could say it's your fault for starting it. [He has no idea who started it.]

But I suppose a more soft-hearted version of myself might make strange decisions when faced with someone like you...I'll speak with you again another time, Shang-shidi.

[As a retiree with a lot of free time, there is no escaping the Shen Qingquisition!

that was a really bad pun i'm sorry]

[ That was a beautiful pun; do not apologize for greatness.

That line is a threat. Feels like a threat? Is absolutely a threat. Airplane can feel the knives starting to dig into his back already. ]

Yes, ah, alright. We, ah. That sounds fine, if you would like to. [ It does not sound fine but he can't say that!!! ]

I'm going to hang up now.

[ Please let him leave this conversation and go shower off the sweat he is now drenched in. ]

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thanks he's going to hate it (I love it)

rip shang qinghua...lights a candle

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done lmao

i'm so glad

he is dying inside, it's great

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