[ That makes his breathing pick up, and Shang Qinghua tries to desperately look somewhere, anywhere else. His gaze finds the floor, but that doesn't hold his interest for long. Even if he could look at the TV, he's pretty sure it would be just as appealing.
This is distinctly different from what he feels during Iris in ways that he can't really articulate, and yet it's similar enough that he has to wonder. If he just... stops worrying about it, what then? Cucumber Bro had recommended he find someone, and maybe he was still afraid of that... but Nie Huaisang has already expressed interest (more that expressed interest; he'd outright propositioned him!) so at least there wasn't the worry of rejection?
And for all that he says he's straight... those long, agonizing days of Iris, who was he thinking about the most?! It wasn't Sha Hualing, not Madam Meiyin, not even Liu Mingyan! No, it was because he was imagining --- that he even tried --- and wound up ------! (Cross that out! Cross that all out!)
He takes a deep breath, steadies himself, and lets himself go just a little bit. Shang Qinghua lowers his head again, and this time when his lips make contact with Nie Huaisang's skin, he doesn't pull back. It's nothing momentous, there's nothing terrible or amazing about it. But there's an itch that it scratches, so he keeps doing it. ]
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This is distinctly different from what he feels during Iris in ways that he can't really articulate, and yet it's similar enough that he has to wonder. If he just... stops worrying about it, what then? Cucumber Bro had recommended he find someone, and maybe he was still afraid of that... but Nie Huaisang has already expressed interest (more that expressed interest; he'd outright propositioned him!) so at least there wasn't the worry of rejection?
And for all that he says he's straight... those long, agonizing days of Iris, who was he thinking about the most?! It wasn't Sha Hualing, not Madam Meiyin, not even Liu Mingyan! No, it was because he was imagining --- that he even tried --- and wound up ------! (Cross that out! Cross that all out!)
He takes a deep breath, steadies himself, and lets himself go just a little bit. Shang Qinghua lowers his head again, and this time when his lips make contact with Nie Huaisang's skin, he doesn't pull back. It's nothing momentous, there's nothing terrible or amazing about it. But there's an itch that it scratches, so he keeps doing it. ]